Saturday, August 15, 2009

Divinity School Application for Liberals

Beginning term: [_] Fall [_] Spring [_] Summer ___ [_] Other?

Indoctrination: [_] Master of Divinity [_] M.Div./MA Counseling [_] M.Div./JD

[_] M.Div./MBA [_] Certificate Health and Spirituality [_] PhD [_] DMin [_] Exploratory

Personal Information

Imposed Name: ____________

Patriarchal Name: _________________

Real Name: ____________

Are you a citizen of the American Empire: ______ Why:_______________________________

Where the Federales Deliver Your Documents______________________________________

Institutions of Past Indoctrination and / or Liberation

Undergraduate

School: ___________________________________

Location: _________________ Years Attended: _______

Degree: Yes / Not a meaningful concept. Major(s): __________________ GPA? ____

List all the good you did, including marches, protests, speeches, and sticking it to the man: _____________________________________________________

Ever suspended, dismissed, or arrested? Yes / hell yes / not yet

List all other schools through which you passed on your pilgrimage to your true self:

School: ___________________________________

Location: _________________ Years Attended: _______

School: ___________________________________

Location: _________________ Years Attended: _______


Specialized Training or Skills, especially in useful areas
(organic horticulture, interpretative dance, deconstruction of metanarratives, making tea, guitar, etc.) _________________________________________________

Demographic Information (so the government knows how much money to give you)

My ancestors were oppressed by Europeans by [_] being taken from Africa in slavery [_] Spanish colonization of the “New World” [_]colonization of Asia [_] conquest of the Pacific Islands [_] English colonization of the “New World” [_] economic exploitation of globalization OR [_] I have benefited from the exploitation of other peoples (I’m white, but overcoming)

Gender: M/F/L/G/B/T/Q [_] Other________

Political Affiliation: [_] Democratic Party [_] Green Party [_] Freedom Socialist Party [_] Labor Party [_] Peace and Freedom Party

Involvement in Church?

[_] spiritual not religious [_] worship the goddess within [_] worship the earth [_] oldline liberal [_] evangelical (I like the music and the gym) [_] Episcopal

I certify that all the information provided on this application, any attached paperwork, and the attached essays are accurate and truthful even though we all know that truth is a relative term that supports the entrenched power of elite institutions and contributes to the oppression of peoples everywhere.

Click here to read all of the application.

3 comments:

Joe Rawls said...

The seminary curriculum needs to add certificates in ecclesiastical event planning as well as spiritual life coaching--or, for the more advanced, concierge spiritual direction.

Steve Hayes said...

So there's liberal fudge and liberal goo too -- what's new?

Don C. said...

LOL, I really needed this today!