In the comments to my posting, one person asked: "Are we sure that this actually represents some sort of Eucharist transposed into Seussspeak, as opposed to simply a cutesy name for a common or garden-variety Eucharist?" At the time, I didn't know for sure how to answer this person's question. But I now know that the answer to that question is: "Yes, this is, indeed, a Eucharist transposed into Seussspeak."
The entire Eucharistic liturgy used by Calvary Episcopal Church is available here. But just in case it disappears, I'll share a few highlights. Before I do, I note that the pdf file for the bulletin says:
This 'Holy Eucharist according to Seuss' was developed in the Diocese of Central PA, and adapted for Calvary Church in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
As I've previously noted with both Kevin Thew Forrester's revision of the liturgy for Holy Baptism and Church of the Holy Trinity in NYC's revision of the liturgy for Holy Baptism, only the General Convention of the Episcopal Church has the authority to revise or authorize liturgy for use in the Episcopal Church's public worship.
But on to the Seusscharist.
Here's the Seussspeak version of the Collect for Purity:
to you all hearts are open wide,
All of our want-wanting in you we confide
and from you our secrets we just can not hide:
Clean the thinks of our thumpers
And we shall be happy jump-jumpers.
So, by the help of your Holy Ghost,
Your Name we may deservingly boast;
through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Here's the Seussspeak confession of sin:
God, we have wronged you
And we need to say boo-hoo
For the things we did and didn’t do
We are not content
we want to repent
One hundred percent
Oh so sorry we say
Won’t you forgive us this day;
So we can walk in your way
Then there's the Seussspeak Eucharistic Prayer:
Celebrant God be with you.
People And with you too.
Celebrant Lift up your hearts without sadness.
People We lift them up with great gladness.
Celebrant Let us give thanks to the Lord our God and Father
People To give him thanks is a great joy and absolutely no bother.
It is right and good-ful; blessed and joyful; holy and beautiful,
To give thanks to you our Father, Almighty and wonderful.
For you have given us this great time,
Filled with laughter, humor and rhyme.
And you have shown us your holy love,
That you have sent from heaven high up above.
Tooting our horns and stamping our feet
With angels and archangels and the whole holy fleet
With one voice let us all proclaim
The glory of your righteous name
Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might,
heaven and earth are full of your glory.
Hosanna in the highest.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
Hosanna in the highest.
O Father, merciful and divine,
You have made our world
And made it quite fine.
But we have been oh so bad
And made a mess of it all
You had every reason to be quite mad.
Instead of making a fuss
You sent your only Son
To live and die as one of us.
On the night before he died
Our Lord lifted some bread
And said with loving pride
“Dear friends, my body to you I give
Take it; share it
In you I will live.
From now on, whenever you meet
I want you to remember our time
And let this be the thing that you eat”
When they were done with their sup
Jesus again spoke with his friends
While high He lifted the holy cup
“For the New Covenant, this is my blood
A sign of the Lord’s continuing love
Let it replace the one from the flood
Whenever you drink this, think of me,
Keeping me close at heart
So that our friendship may go on endlessly
And so we now say
His death we recall
His resurrection we shout
When He comes again, it will be for all
These gifts are for you and not just a few
Fill this bread and wine truly with you
Your Spirit come down
And send it around
Make holy this food
To put us in the mood
To bring your grace
To the whole human race
I also note that, instead of an Old Testament reading or a New Testament epistle reading, the first reading in this Seusscharist comes from Dr. Seuss' Yertle the Turtle. While not exactly the same thing as replacing the New Testament epistle reading with a reading from the Qur'an, this still liturgically places non-biblical literature on an equal footing with a reading from Holy Scripture.
Interestingly, the Lord's Prayer is not translated into Seussspeak, but rather remains in the traditional wording. Could it be that even in a Seusscharist some things are deemed too holy to be messed with?
Someone may say: "Aw c'mon Fr. B! Relax, dude, and stop being so cranky and insensitive. What in the world is wrong with any of this? It's so profoundly meaningful for the children, and it can help us adults make new connections to the divine, too. Lighten up!"
My response is to say that there is a divide in the Church between those who find profound meaning by doing sacraments "in a new way" and those for whom such innovations are a betrayal of a sacrament's integrity and a trivialization of the sacred to the silly (not to mention a violation of the oath of conformity on the part the clergy who enact such illegal liturgical revisions).
It strikes me that the perspectives on either side of such a divide are incommensurable and irreconcilable.